Family Love
by RuscanShota
Summary: (ONE SHOT) (NO PAIRINGS) "I'm not a machine, Feli," Lovino thought bitterly. "You can't just go running to people when I 'break'. There's no manual out there on 'how to fix your brother when he's pissed'," Lovino bawled his fists up in the blankets, gnawing his lower lip and wrinkling his nose. How could so much trouble be caused from the feeling of neglect? (Warnings inside)


** Wrote this based off of a tumblr post saying Rome neglected Lovino or somethin'. I'm not too knowledge on Italian history/the group of italians in the showw uwu' I was going to include the other 'Italians' but really I have no idea how to write 'em in or write them in total, so you'll have to excuse me owo;; this is also my first time writing about the Italians! Reviews are appreciated!**

**WARNING: Contains a butt-ton of negativity, some starvation, vomiting, neglect and bad language. There is NO suicide related things though and a hella ton of fluff at the end **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The sigh that filled the eerily silent room was the only thing to accompany the noise of footsteps and ruffling fabric. The sound of old, wooden floor boards creaking, an old fan working away in the corner of the room and muffled street noises were nothing that Lovino Vargas could focus on.

There was a much louder noise brewing in his head, one that boomed like a fire cracker going off right in his ear drum, or a siren screaming in his face. That sound was the heart wrenching reminder that he wasn't loved by the two people he wanted it from most, his Grand father and his brother.

Lovino sat heavily down on his single bed, having just finished making it. The old, floral print blankets were quite old but still cozy, having the dull scent of moth balls and dust. He never truly hated the smell, it just gave him something to think of while falling asleep. Though even the odor couldn't get him to calm.

It had all started that morning when he had met up with his brother in the usual meeting hall in Italy after the two had distanced. Mostly because of they each wanted to pay attention to their friends (Romano's 'friends' Spain and Belgium, who most of the time were busy anyway and Italy's friends Germany, Japan and plenty others,) and also had plenty of work to do with their halves of their country.

Feli had done the usual back-crushing hug that he tries to give to everyone and his long spew of words that Lovino tended to just blow off since it was incomprehensible at times. Though one word caught his attention; 'nonno', or Grandpa. Upon tuning in Lovino learned that Rome had visited Italy just a few days ago, telling him that he was his favorite grand son and trying to teach Ludwig about Rome.

At this information, Lovino had gone silent. Feli, per usual, couldn't read the atmosphere and continued to babble. Lovino once more slowly tuned Feli out, the Italian staring silently at his brother as he talked. He had never been visited by their Grand-father. Heck, the last time he saw him was when they were kids and he was running off with Germania to go have a drink or two (He wasn't sure how they came back to life, but Prussia was still around to this day so he learned to stop questioning how some lived and others didn't.)

He didn't know what to do. His mind drew a blank, his gaze empty, his face dull. It was like the life drained out of him. It was such an out of character thing for Lovino that after a few minutes of picking up on this, Feli's words tumbled to a stop. He stared back at his brother, his own honey-colored eyes filled with confusion and slight worry.

"Lovi?" He had asked, wondering if he could break his twin's stare. Suddenly, that empty feeling in Lovino's mind was filled with seething rage, jealously, hatred. How dare his sibling get all the love from his grand father while he sat in the corner and got jack shit?!

Teeth grinding uncontrollably, he lifted a fist and pounded it into Feli's cheek without warning, the nation crying out in what could be pain, fear or surprise. Lovino could tell. Feli stumbled back in held his injury, the blow hard enough that it had busted the poor Italian's lip. Lovino stared once more with wider eyes, panting before he turned and bolted out of the building, faintly hearing his brother call out to him.

The rage in his mind only settled slightly, but not in a good way; Fear and slight regret washed over him. This didn't stop him though. He hopped in his car and drove home, hands shaking as they fought to grip the wheel, sweat running down his brow.

The followed hours were spent pacing around his flat, hearing the phone ring several times along with his cell phone but he dared not to answer. He was clueless of what to say, and didn't want them knowing if he went home or not. Sitting still wouldn't work for him and the constant flow emotions kept him from getting tired.

He soon tried to busy himself with other thoughts, other things, he turned on his phone and tried to play a game on it, ending up loosing and feeling just a little worse than before. He tossed it aside with an angered growl, putting his head in his hands.

Dizziness washed over him, making him jerk in surprise. He was on his feet in seconds, though with stumbling he didn't get anywhere. He keeled over and vomited, stumbling backwards and falling onto his rear with a shaken heave.

He sat there in silence, a look of utter surprise, fright and the feeling of sickness easily seen in his features. Lovino sat there for a good few minutes until he caught his mind, climbing to his feet and cleaning up the mess, unsure of what to think of that.

He changed up the sheets in his bed and cleaned up the hard wood floor, taking a quick shower as well. The nausea refused to pass, Lovino taking some medication, despite his knowledge that whatever was probably ailing him was something in his country and not him.

Now he was here, a little calmer, a little duller, seated in the sheets and blanket's he would use for the night since his needed to dry. His breaths were wavering, gaze locked on the wall across from him as he tried to sort out his emotions.

The phone went off. Lovino jolted and looked over to it, set on the nightstand. He mentally debated picking it up, and just decided to read who it was. He glanced over the device, realizing how shaky his hands were from almost dropping it.

Of course, it was Antonio. Feli probably went running to him to get help. Lovino scoffed and tossed his phone back onto the nightstand, going back to his thoughts, a scowl finally filling his emotions.

"I'm not a machine, Feli," Lovino thought bitterly. "You can't just go running to people when I 'break'. There's no manual out there on 'how to fix your brother when he's pissed'," Lovino bawled his fists up in the blankets, knawing his lower lip and wrinkling his nose. He felt the smallest tear in his eyes, which made him angrier. He wasn't sad. He wasn't going to cry like a child. He was a grown man who was done with being treated like an object, something that is an 'option' to pay attention to or not, something to toss away if its broken.

Moving his hand onto his knee, he dug his nails into his pants. He wore a pair of sweat pants and blue t-shirt, since the summer was fading into autumn, the nights had grown chilly. His room was always cold, anyway, so his wardrobe never really changed.

Lovino closed his eyes tight. He flinched once more as he heard the familiar buzz of his phone, making him hiss in anger. He was done with the phone calls, he was done with people trying to get to him. Don't they realize that he just wanted to be alone?

Lovino snatched up the phone, answering. "Leave me the fuck alone!" Snapped Lovino, scorning himself for his wavering voice, having tried his best to sound menacing. He hung up before the other person had time to reply, throwing his phone back onto the night stand roughly, it sliding across and onto the floor.

Lovino clutched his hair, digging his nails into his scalp. He tucked his head down and closed his eyes tight, covering his ears, the queasiness building once more. He panted hard, trying his hardest not to cry, blabbering to himself in Italian. He told himself insults, trying to get himself to not let a single tear fall. Soon he was on his feet, stomping out of the room.

He couldn't hear himself panting as he went to the living room once more, going back to the pacing. He tried to think of something to do, something to get his mind off of the situation. He grabbed the TV remote as if it were his last life line, turning on the television.

He turned the volume up as loud as possible, TV blaring throughout the house. Lovino went back to pacing, listening to some lady talk about golf, which he tried to follow but his brain still swirled with emotions.

Soon, his energy wore thin, causing him to hesitantly laid down on his back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He looked to the clock on the wall, seeing it read eleven-thirty. He sighed through his nose, forcing his eyes closed.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Lovino started to pass out. The TV couldn't keep him awake, even from how loud it was. He grew emotionally and physically exhausted, so by midnight he was out like a light.

Awoken abruptly at 9 am, his eyes tearing open wide, the show that came on being filled with screaming people at some sort of concert. This made him jolt, breath hitching in his throat as he fumbled to turn the TV off, which he managed. He stared at the TV, gasping for breath softly, soon turning his gaze to the clock. He calmed ever so slightly, wanting to go back to sleep, but from such a wake up call it'd be impossible.

He slowly rose to his feet, startled by how wobbly his legs were. He caught himself on the arm rest of the couch and looked down, soon regaining balance. He swallowed thickly from how frail he felt, making him a bit wary. He could feel sweat beaded on his fore head and on other places of his body, so, reluctantly, he padded off to go take shower.

Lovino sighed softly as he let the water beat down on his head, curl bouncing up and down from the water drops. He felt a small, empty feeling in his chest, making him pause. It hadn't been there before. It was just enough of a feeling to surpass the gross sickness dwelling in his gut, making him frown that it was still there, leaning on the shower wall with a heavy breath escaping him.

After around ten minutes he got out, getting dressed in a pair of knee-cut shorts and a grey sweater. It was just a bit too big for him, having 'borrowed' it from Antonio (aka, he liked it and never gave it back.)

He lumbered into his bedroom, picking up his phone. Four messages, all spanned out between the hours he had slept. They were from Feli, Antonio ( expected), Ludwig and some number that wasn't in his contacts. He took a moment to think about it, not knowing who'd leave him a message at such an hour without being on his contacts.

He thought hard about checking the messages. Part of him didn't want to give in, not wanting to read anything from the people who just made his days harder. But then again... that empty feeling came back. The heavy sense that overwhelmed his thoughts now. Was he... Lonely?

Lovino wiped at his face, growling at himself to not cry. He hated knowing he was nothing but a lonely, neglected child on the inside, a kid that never got the love of a parent and was now nothing but a snobby, idiotic, moron-

He stopped his train of thoughts as he hit a realization. If anyone else called him that stuff, he'd surely be mad. But coming from himself... it was a different story. He huffed quietly, deciding he'd try and stop putting himself down like that. He was extremely furious, but putting himself down would have to stop.

Spending another hour in silence, letting his mind drag on, he soon got up and trotted into the kitchen. He felt hungry, but part of him didn't want to eat, not wanting to risk throwing up. So he settled with a glass of water, drinking it before heading into the living room.

He sat in the living room for quite the while, the phone ringing over and over. With his patience wearing thin, Lovino rose to his feet and went off, grabbing his phone. He turned it off and stuffed it under his pillow, not wanting to listen to it any more.

The rest of his day was spent lazing around, vomiting a few more times with whatever was left in his stomach and trying to figure out how to put the home phone on silence. It was around three pm when he heard a loud knock on the door, making him freeze in his place in his bedroom.

Thankful that the door was locked, Lovino scampered off into the bathroom to wait for them to leave. He felt bad for just hiding from them, but he wasn't done with trying to figure things out himself yet, so he listened as they went around his house and tried every door and checked every window, after a solid hour and a half, they left.

Lovino sat quietly for a couple minutes as he wanted to make sure that they wouldn't be coming back. He slowly slunk out of the bathroom, shakily breathing out, just heading off back to his bedroom to hopefully catch some shut eye.

This happened for around a week. As bad as it felt to just hide every time someone came around trying to come in his house, he didn't think about it. He felt like he needed more time, and he would gladly take as much as he could, but he felt like he was being mean at this point. It was affecting him both physically and mentally.

He wasn't sure when the last time he had a meal was without getting sick. He knew from a week's worth of limited meals he had lost some weight. He wasn't sure how much, but now his pants had started to slide down if he didn't use a belt. He never passed out or anything so he deemed himself healthy-ish, he didn't have to worry about dying though so he never worried that much about it.

At the end of the week, it was around eight pm, Lovino curled up on the couch in silence, just reading a book with a lamp on. He had grown tired of TV, never having watched it before, just having started to watch it recently. Nothing seemed that interesting on what little channels he had.

Now that he thought about it... nothing really seemed all that interesting anymore. Everything was just kind of... bland. They either made him blank or angry, or just sad. It made him a little confused and feel worse about the situation.

He soon heard the familiar ring of his home phone, making him look over and glance at it, sitting on the living room's coffee table. He gave it a thought for a moment, shoulders tensing as he wondered if he should pick it up. The gross, horrible, loneliness crawled up to give it's usual hello, Lovino gripping his book and slamming it shut.

Bull shit. Why would he want attention from assholes like them? He had better ways to spend his time. They probably just all assumed that he was having a 'drama queen' moment and were ready to laugh at him. Ridicule him. Remind him that he's the lesser being.

He grit his teeth. On the other hand, he wanted to hear their voices. He wanted to hear them talk to him, even if it was negative. He hated the feeling... the feeling of neglect, knowing no one was around, knowing that he can't get love from his own brother and Grand father.

He debated for another moment, watching the phone go silent once more. He stared before looking away. He lost his chance, anyway, so he might as well-

That ring started again, Lovino quickly looking back at the phone. He stared, wide eyes before he unconsciously grabbed the phone, holding it to his ear.

The line was silent, and so was he. He listened, faintly hearing car's on the street from the other end.

"Lovino," It was his brother, how serious he sounded made his blood run cold. "We're coming," Lovino hung up.

He stared at the phone, wondering what to do. He fidgeted, sneering at himself for picking up the home phone, knowing Feli knew he was home now. Once again he was caught on what to do, sit here and wait for him to come, or leave to be on his own. He didn't want to be seen as such a mess. His eyes had bags from only getting minimal hours of sleep, his body was a bit trembling from being on the verge of break down, his hair was a bit matted from taking a shower not too long ago and not to mention his unhealthy weight loss.

Then again, he knew he needed help. He knew that if he kept putting himself down, he'd get no where, or he'd get worse. His boss would also beat his ass if he stayed in his house forever. With the most hesitance, he sat himself back down and turned on the TV, turning the volume down. He'd wait.

Half an hour passed, leading it to be eight-thirty pm. It had started to down poor, the cold rain being accompanied by soon distant rumbles of thunder and a flash of lightning here and there. It made Lovino shudder, not liking thunder and lighting one bit.

A particular flash made him jump out of his skin, Lovino yelping and clutching the armrest of the couch. His eyes locked on the picture window of the living room, seeing the rain slide down it thickly.

He grew even more tense after he heard a knock at the door, his gaze snapping from the window. He cleared his throat, quietly climbing to his quivering stance. He moved slowly across the floor, looking at the door. Whoever was out there knocked again, and Lovino picked up the pace.

Once at the door, he rested his hand on the cold door nob. He opened the door, only a crack, but the person on the other end forced the door the rest of the way open.

Their figures were too shadowed to be recognizable, but Lovino caught on to the much shorter of the two being his brother from the curl. Though the tall, burly figured man standing next to him was a mystery to Lovino.

Lovino jumped as thunder cracked once more, accompanied by a flash of lightning. His brother came zooming into the house, yelling out 'LOVINO!'

He was suddenly embraced in a cold, wet hug, head pulled into his brother's chest. The man wore a blue shirt with a black button up over it, button's open along with a pair of jeans. His hug was different, it was kinder, more affectionate, his face snuggled into his brother's fuzzy, darker hair.

"F-Feli.. i-it's not that big of a deal," He stammered from his cheek being flush against his brother's chest, his words only tightening Feli's hug.

"Y-you've had us all worried sick!" Feli sobbed, the following crack of thunder making them both jerk with fear, Lovino hurriedly hugging back. He heard his other visitor step in and close the door, still not making himself verbally known.

Feli began to apologize over and over, both in English and Italian. Lovino didn't say a word, slowly growing soft for his brother, closing his eyes to try and enjoy the affection, unsure if it were real or not. He didn't entirely care at that moment, though, just wanting to enjoy himself after a rough night. Feli rubbed his back and nuzzled his head, soon breaking the embrace only to keep a hand on Lovino's shoulder. Feli's cheek had a faded bruise on it, Lovino growing stiff as he remembered that he caused it.

"Lovi, you remember nonno, yes?" Feli asked in a softened tone as he moved Lovino to face the older man, Lovino flinching and looking up at the man's face. He had a light stubble on his chin and jaw bone, lips curled up in a sweet smile, hair tasseled with little curls here and there. Like Feli, he was soaked, making his hair somewhat matted.

"Lovino, long time no see, eh?" The elder comment with a deep chuckle and widened smile, Lovino sitting still and quiet for a moment as he wasn't sure what to say or how to react.

"U-uh... Yeah..." Replied Lovino uncertainly, making Rome's smile falter. The entry way was enveloped in awkward silence before Lovino cleared his throat.

"I'll get towels, you two go get settled in the living room," Feli was about to tell his brother that he would help but Lovino quickly left the two, heading down the hall to retrieve the towels, leaving them no other choice but to do as told.

When he came back, the two were standing in the living room. They gave their little thank yous as they were each given a towel to dry off, each of them soon taking a seat.

Feli sat Lovino between the both of them on the couch, Lovino stiff and scrunched up, unsure of the situation once more. Feli bit his lip, the Italian looking like he'd just about explode with questions, but Lovino beat him to it.

"Why are you two here?" Lovino asked, the two Italians at his sides glancing at each other to see who'd want to explained. The answer was obvious to him, but Lovino wanted to hear what they had to say.

"Well... from what Feli told me, you're not doing too good. We decided to go pay you a visit since you wouldn't answer any calls," Rome decided to explain, Lovino falling silent. Rome kept tense as he didn't get a reply, clearing his throat.

"I need you to know that we both love you, Lovino," Rome paused, watching for a reaction from Lovino, the boy only glancing up a little. "I know I don't pay a lot of attention to you, its just that I... always got carried away,"

Lovino hunched his shoulders ever so slightly, not being angry or furious, just sad, thinking he wasn't worth the man's time. Rome frowned lightly as Lovino's mood didn't change, gently setting a hand on his thin shoulder.

"I wasn't the best parent back when I was supposed to take care of you two. I always ran off, expecting you two to do well on your own. Now I know I was wrong," Rome gently rubbed Lovino's shoulder blade with his thumb in a soothing motion, trying to get the young man to relax. Lovino was silent for the moment, sighing softly.

"I... know. I shouldn't have expected such things from such a busy man, I'm sorry," The response was so out of character that Feli's jaw nearly dropped, giving his brother a hard shove in the shoulder, making Lovino yelp a quick 'Chigi' noise.

"Lovi! Don't do that! Its scary!" Feli barked, Lovino sending him a sharp look which only made Feli falter a bit.

The two younger Italians both jerked lightly from another boom of thunder, Lovino speaking up. "I just want to be alone, I never asked for you two to come here,"

Feli looked heart broken from this reply, Rome shaking his head 'no' and wrapping his arm around around Lovino's middle, making him shudder.

"You're thinner, I thought you weighed more than your brother," The comment suddenly got Lovino flustered, his cheeks blushing up.

"We're staying, and you're having something to eat," Feli couldn't help but smile as he saw Rome take on an adult-like approach to the situation, being a bit forceful but in such a situation it was needed, knowing if they left Lovino would probably get worse. Lovino swallowed thickly and nodded, strangely enough feeling the nausea having faded.

"I will make something light for you, boy, from the looks of it you need it," Rome chuckled, moving his arm out from around him and giving his hair a ruffle, getting up and trotting off, Lovino left disoriented from the actions. Feli smiled big, both at how his brother had changed from blank and cranky and from the mention of food.

Lovino sat with his brother as their Grandfather cooked, Feli trying to keep the boy's mood up by talking to him in their native tongue and slower so he could pipe in as well, which he did every now and then but not too much.

Feli got an idea during their chatting, quickly dashing off. He came back with three of Lovino's blankets and a chair, dragging the chair along, Lovino raising a brow. Feli set up a little blanket fort in the living room, using the couch, chair, blankets and whatever else he could find, after awhile the two sitting in the little fort.

Lovino glanced around from his spot cuddled up to Feli, the two having a little blanket on their laps to keep warm. They listened to the rumbles of thunder mixed with the sounds of Rome cooking, making the situation not as scary. Lovino could feel the dreadful sensation completely vanish and be replaced with a warm, cozy feeling, making him smile ever so slightly.

Soon enough Rome poked his head into the fort, somehow managing to balance three plates on his arms. Once Rome was in the fort, the three snuggled up and began to eat and chat. The group seemed a lot more happy and outgoing than before, Lovino snuggled up between his brother and grandfather with the happiest look on his face.

As the night swept away faster than expected, the two younger Italians were quick to get drowsy. By midnight, they were both out cold, the storm that had been brewing for awhile having passed, leaving just some soft rain sprinkling against the windows. Rome turned off the lamp in the living room and got the two snuggled up in their fort, laying down with them to sleep the rest of the night away, gently stroking Lovino's hair softly as the younger slept.


End file.
